Love is not just a feeling, it is more than that. The only one who can help us show love is God. God is love and He wants his children to love the right way. Love is sacrifice, and if you are not ready to sacrifice yourself for someone, then you are not ready to love. When you are ready to SACRIFICE, you are ready to love.
1st Corinthians 13:4-8(NIV)
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
Dr. Gary Chapman is a Christian counselor and the author of The 5 Love Languages. He writes about the importance of being able to express love to your spouse in a way that your spouse can understand. He calls this type of communication “The use of 5 love language.”
Here is a brief summary of the 5 emotional love languages according to Chapman:
1. Words of Affirmation
This is when you say how nice your spouse looks, or how great the dinner tasted. This involves showing love through the use of verbally affirming statements toward your partner. These words will also build your mate’s self-image and confidence.
One way to express love emotionally is to use words that build up. Solomon, said in (Proverbs 18:21, NIV) “The tongue has the power of life and death” . Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other.
Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love. They are best expressed in simple, straightforward statements of affirmation
2. Quality Time
Time is a precious commodity. We all have multiple demands on our time, yet each of us has the exact same hours in a day. We can make the most of those hours by committing some of them to our spouse. If your mate’s primary love language is quality time, she simply wants you, being with her, spending time.
Some spouses believe that being together, doing things together and focusing in on one another is the best way to show love. This includes emotional engagement in each other during whatever activity you may be doing together, even if it is just “hanging out.” If this is your partner’s love language, turn off the TV, ignore your cell phone and give one another some undivided attention.
3. Receiving Gifts
It is universal in human culture to give gifts. They don’t have to be expensive to send a powerful message of love. Spouses who forget a birthday or anniversary or who never give gifts to someone who truly enjoys gift giving will find themselves with a spouse who feels neglected and unloved.
This is not about materialism, it is about knowing that you are on someone’s mind even when you are not together. Here is where the thought definitely counts!
Almost everything ever written on the subject of love indicates that at the heart of love is the spirit of giving. All five love languages challenge us to give to our spouse, but for some, receiving gifts, visible symbols of love, speaks the loudest.
4. Acts of Service
This is about how you can best do something for your spouse which requires time and creativity. These acts of service like vacuuming, shoveling the snow, hanging a bird feeder, planting a garden, etc. need to be done with joy in order to be perceived as a gift of love.
For people who value acts of service, “Actions speak louder than words” is their mantra.
5. Physical Touch
These people place a lot of importance on physical affection and touch. Not necessarily sex per se, but hugs, hand holding, an impromptu massage and so on. This physical contact is very reassuring and meaningful to someone with this love language.
Once you discover that physical touch is the primary love language of your spouse, you are limited only by your imagination on ways to express love.