My name is Nina, I want to tell you a story of how I was raped, and I also need your help. One Saturday evening, some weeks back, choir rehearsal had just ended, but as usual, I stayed back to rehearse the song again to perfect my part, which I love to do especially when I’m backing up. Shola and Tunde would always stay back to help me. Shola would play the piano and correct me. Tunde only stayed back because he liked me and always wanted to spend sometime with me.

After our rehearsal Shola and Tunde said their good byes and started going home. I always feel lucky having them in my life, they teach me everything I know about music and boys. I get great advice from them concerning boys. Today however, I don’t know if I can look myself in the mirror and not hate boys. Their advice is one of the reasons I was a virgin till that night.

It was a little dark but you could still see people passing by. I wanted to use a taxi but I was so broke and the last money on me was what I used to pay for my monthly Choir dues. I had been giving Chika excuses so I decided to pay my money. I have been jobless for 2 years now with no money at hand. I’m so tired of hearing my mum complain about the financial state of the family and how I need to get married to any of the rich men that have been asking my hand in marriage. She said that since I haven’t gotten a job, I need to get married and start assisting the family. Today I wish I listened to her advice, maybe I won’t be in the condition I’m in now.

I was listening to Mali Music and singing loudly. I was so into the song that I didn’t notice the 2 men following me. They waited until I was in a quiet environment, where one of them quickly covered my mouth from behind.

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I was so shocked and turned to find out who was holding me, but I could not see their faces. They carried me into the nearby bush. I tried to scream but it was too late. Everything happened so fast. It seemed like they’ve been doing this for long because they were already wearing protection. I had imagined how my first time was going to be but this was never in the picture, ever. They didn’t even care if I was a virgin, they raped me over and over again like I was some kind of animal. At that point I preferred death, I was so tired of struggling, I was in so much pain. The pain I was feeling under me was unbearable. I woke up the next day in the hospital. I opened my eyes to see my mum smiling at me. I know she was trying to be positive but I could tell she had been crying. I was supposed to be in church singing and here I was in the hospital, a rape victim. I can’t believe I was raped! Why will God allow this to happen to me? What sin did I commit?

Today I’m writing this to you all in pain, because I really don’t know if I can take this anymore. I just got back from the hospital 3 weeks after the incident and it was confirmed that I’m pregnant. I was confused because I felt they both used protection, but I was wrong. I have not been to church these past weeks because I’m trying to avoid people. I also made sure my mum stopped telling people what happened to me, but I feel like I’m dying slowly. I’m so angry at myself and this baby that I really want to abort. What advice can you give me?

Hi guys, please let’s discuss this in the comment section below.

Ormah is one of the successful gospel bloggers in Nigeria. She publishes more in depth coverage of Nigerian music, motivational articles, real life stories, lifestyle and her faith in God. Ormah is an excellent writer and has written 3 books. She is also a content marketing professional and reading Ormah's blog has become a part of Nigerian's daily routines.