The norms of being a pastor's kid

When a pastor’s kid walk away from the faith with which they have been brought up, it is a sad thing and a poor testimony to the truth of Christianity. Although true Christians wouldn’t lose their salvation, they can and do walk away from the faith, at least for a period of time. Ephesians 2vs8–9 By the grace of God who gives the gift of faith to His own, those who are truly amongst the elect will return.

1. Abuse of parents from the church.
Pastors’ children who leave the faith may do so for a variety of reasons. Speaking from experience, many pastors’ children are deeply hurt by the way church members treat their parents. Young people see the anger and conflict that can arise in even the best of congregations, and we most time conclude that the “religion” these people profess can’t be real. Young people see these conflicts as hypocrisy. We then begin to question our own faith.

2. Pressure to be perfect
Pastors’ children are often under a lot of pressure to be perfect, or at least to act like it so we won’t disgrace the family and the church. So we try to live up to everyone’s expectations, and this lead us to practice the very hypocrisy we see in others. Especially in smaller churches, the pastor’s family is put on a pedestal with everyone watching their every move.

3. Lack of time for the family.
Pastor’s children like me often believe the church and ministry is stealing our father’s time away from us. Pastors typically work 50-hour weeks, leaving their children fighting for attention. Statistically,

4. Movement from one place to another.
Personally, I have not experienced this but most pastors change churches every five years. This can mean a child moves 3-4 times during his or her childhood. They experience the stress of losing their homes, their schools, and their friends, and they intuitively blame God or the religion for the upheaval. But these children often have no one to turn to. Their parents are dealing with the stress of finding house, the financial insecurity, and the causes for the move, which are usually negative. So, not wanting to add to the stress, kids can keep their anger and frustration hidden.

But the resentment build up against God and the faith play into the natural rebelliousness of the teenage years, which is why many pastors’ children leave the faith during that time or immediately upon entering University. They appear to “conform” to Christianity, saying all the right things and performing all the required duties. But the moment of freedom brings many to reject the hypocrisy of their own lives and their faith along with it. How often we hear sad reports of those who start out so well in the things of religion. Those children who are praised by their parents and relatives for their apparent godliness and zeal at their local church, only to leave home for the first time by going away to a university, service or a new job only to later return spiritually barren and cold. Now the big question is this What can be done to stem the tide of pastors’ children leaving the faith???

-Akinosun Olumide Paul.

Ormah is one of the successful gospel bloggers in Nigeria. She publishes more in depth coverage of Nigerian music, motivational articles, real life stories, lifestyle and her faith in God. Ormah is an excellent writer and has written 3 books. She is also a content marketing professional and reading Ormah's blog has become a part of Nigerian's daily routines.